THE COURTSHIP CODE
It is what you do in the relationship that matters, the semantics about the term; dating and courtship notwithstanding.
CODE #1: DATING OR COURTSHIP IS NOT A HOBBY
Here is how to know if you are going down the hobby lane with dating or courtship;
A. You choose without thinking or carefully considering: It is important that you carefully consider your motives.
B. When you have little or no standards.
C. When you have no end in sight: There has to be a timeline to your dating and courtship since marriage must be in view.
D. When you only do the fun part: There is an ordinariness that a great relationship has, the ability to just be friends. When you constantly need to communicate in a relationship, it means some things are lacking. You should be able to go about your ordinary life with your partner.
CODE #2: COURTSHIP IS NOT AN INSTITUTION
Even if you have been courting for 25 years, if you are not married, you are still single. Marriage is the institution God recognizes. Marriage is actually a step of faith; you are trusting that, though you might not have known all there is to know about this person, you know enough already to live life together forever.
If you make an institution out of courtship or dating, you will get into trouble. You must have the boldness to walk away when someone is not willing to make you a wife.
You can walk away when you begin to notice character inconsistencies. It’s certainly not a sin to break up with a Christian. It’s you who is in the relationship. “What will people say?” should not hinder you from making the right decisions.
How do you know you are ready for marriage?
A. Desire: You mustn’t allow anyone to force you into marriage, you must desire it. You also need to work on your desire. Many of us have it clouded with fear from failed relationships.
B. Maturity: It’s one step in maturity to know the area in which you need to grow. And you are that powerful to know since you have the Holy Spirit. Who you are outside of a relationship is who you will be in a relationship with.
The maturity of the relationship is also important. The maturity of a relationship, not the duration is what makes you know you are ready for marriage.